a Prequel Edition Original
by Ryan Chauvin
Have you ever wondered why Roger Goodell’s “Bountygate” suspensions were so severe? It wasn’t because the Saints were openly engaging in a practice that is common throughout football history. No. Did you think that was it? Well, aren’t you cute.
You see.
The secret is.
It’s a whole lot more than that. The now-suspended Saints’ coaching staff began their twisted journey long before they targeted Brett Favre in a playoff game three years ago.
This is a plot so perverse and unbelievable that it simply must be believed. From late night calls, to shadowy trips to a place called Jacksonville, to one man’s desire to change the very nature of New Orleans, this plot is so dense that it could only be orchestrated by the devious mind of a grandmaster.
To get to the bottom of this you have to go way back to November 23th, 2005, into the suburban sprawl of Dallas, Texas.
Setting up the Dominos
Defensive tackle Gerard Warren is awakened by a phone call at two in the morning. A strange voice cryptically starts the conversation by saying, “Hi Gerard, I have a proposition for you.” As Gerard wiped the sleep from his widening eyes, he quickly understood that it was an offer he simply could not refuse.
You see, Warren was in town to play those despicable Cowboys, and he is unprepared for the diabolical mind of Sean Payton. Serving the end of his final year of as an assistant coach in Dallas, Payton experiences the world at a higher plane than mere mortals. You see, like the Bobby Fischer, Payton quickly scans the world around him and in the blink of an eye, he has already seen how the game will unfold. The Saints’ tumultuous season (wrecked from the start by Hurricane Katrina) has already created a chasm of leadership and talent, and Payton eyes his future job with uncontainable greed.
Knowing how the universe will unfold is a weighty burden, but one that provides him the ultimate edge.
So Payton downs a few Hurricanes (again, he’s already got the future all mapped out, so he’s prepping for the new gig, just roll with it) and decides to give the one man who can land him a Hall of Fame quarterback a call.
Knowing that Gerard Warren, defensive tackle for the Denver Broncos, is playing the San Diego Chargers a few weeks down the road, Payton places a two thousand dollar bounty on the shoulder of Drew Brees.
Read More in our
Prequel Edition ebook, as we raise funds for awesome new things.
by Bradley Warshauer
Stop.
Breathe.
This can be exciting, and here’s why:
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“Tim Tebow is a reactionary counter-revolutionary force in opposition to the hypermodern passing game of Drew Brees.”
1
Evolution, revolution
Last Saturday night Drew Brees threw 41 passes, completing nearly eighty percent of them for 466 yards while leading the New Orleans Saints, who possess the most prolific of the NFL’s postmodern offenses, to a fireworks-filled 45-28 win over the visiting Detroit Lions.
Last Sunday night, Tim Tebow threw 21 passes, completing less than fifty percent of them for just over 300 yards while leading the Denver Broncos, who run a modified version of offenses that have not been used fulltime in the NFL since about the Eisenhower Administration, to a 29-23 win over the visiting Pittsburgh Steelers.
Something is wonky in professional football right now, and it’s not because Jesus has money on Denver.
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Is it wrong that I’m desperately hoping some good news comes out of Saints Headquarters today? Can we please just sign Colston and Nicks and while we’re at it ink a long term deal that appeases Drew? I don’t think this is too much to ask. Right?
-Ryan
"At some point, Drew Brees’ time with the New Orleans Saints will come to an end.
But Friday, he made one thing clear.
His family’s time as New Orleanians never will.
‘We’re always going to have a strong connection with New Orleans, we’re always going to give back to New Orleans and I’m talking like 20, 30, 40 years from now,’ Brees said on a conference call with local media.
"
—
(Source: wwltv.com)
Whelp, things are about to get real serious real quick so buckle up, this ain’t no wild card weekend. I’ve been known to lean a little far toward the homerist side of Saints fandom on this blog (Ryan speaking), but under the bravado, I’m just as terrified as Bradley about this game…But that doesn’t mean I expect us to lose, no. I think we’ll have a good game (a bat game, even) and take care of business on a find day at Candlestick. Here’s three things I’m watching for.
(Via)
1. Coachmanship – That’s a word, I promise.
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“That paints a picture of Pierre Thomas,” Brees said. “He’s taken advantage of every opportunity he’s been given. I’ve never played with a guy who’s tougher, smarter, more versatile. The way he ran, shedding tackles. It was phenomenal.”
Thomas shrugged. “It’s the playoffs,” he said. “Like I told a lot of guys, when the playoffs hit, you’ve got to be a totally different animal.”
-That’s what I like to hear from my guys going into the divisional round of the playoffs.
The following is a guest post by our friend Steve Renner. Enjoy!
I saw a stat recently (I think it was the MNF Demolition of the Falcons) that teams who score a TD in the final two minutes win something like 76% of the time.
I didn’t flinch because the Saints have clearly known this ever since Sean Payton arrived. In fact, I would venture to bet that they’re one of the best SECOND quarter teams in the NFL. A large part of this is the adjustments that the coaching staff makes after seeing how the defense reacts to different personnel groupings.
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1
Evolution, revolution
Last Saturday night Drew Brees threw 41 passes, completing nearly eighty percent of them for 466 yards while leading the New Orleans Saints, who possess the most prolific of the NFL’s postmodern offenses, to a fireworks-filled 45-28 win over the visiting Detroit Lions.
Last Sunday night, Tim Tebow threw 21 passes, completing less than fifty percent of them for just over 300 yards while leading the Denver Broncos, who run a modified version of offenses that have not been used fulltime in the NFL since about the Eisenhower Administration, to a 29-23 win over the visiting Pittsburgh Steelers.
Something is wonky in professional football right now, and it’s not because Jesus has money on Denver.
(via)
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I’m sick and bloody tired of hearing that the Saints haven’t played a top tier defense (which is a bald-faced lie. We beat both Houston and Chicago before injuries ravaged both squads), while San Francisco gets a pass after not playing anything resembling the Saints offense all season.
Well, I’m here to right the karmic wrongs and prove that this isn’t a case of strength vs. strength. The 49ers excel in rush defense. They’re probably one of the best of the last decade. But their pass defense? Not so much.
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The NFL admitted that the Drew Brees fumble on Saturday should have been ruled as Saints ball. Was it a fumble? Absolutely, but the timing of the inadvertent whistle should have nullified the play.
Listening to Cris Collinsworth drone on and on about how the whistle robbed the Lions of a touchdown was incredibly irritating (even for Collinsworth). When you watch the replay, it’s clear that the Saints players in the area quit playing when they heard the whistle. Meachem would have at least been in the area to tackle Justin Durant after he recovered the ball.
So Lions fans can complain, but the way I look at it, we both got screwed. You can claim that would have been a touchdown, but in reality, that was our possession.
All a moot point since Detroit couldn’t capitalize and we went on to route them in the second half, but this did keep the game artificially close there for a while.
timtebowner:
I feel like i’m the only one who actually does not like the New Orleans Saints. I found it very classless that the Saints always run up the score and try to accumulate stats for Drew Brees and that offense. I thought it was extremely disrespectful that the Saints continued to throw the ball on the Falcons while up 38-16 with 5 minutes to go. I understand that Drew Brees was very close to the single season passing yards record but he still had one week to go. He could have easily gotten the record in his next game on his first drive. Also, is a 62-7 victory over a hapless Colts team necessary? What are you proving after you’re winning by 35, 45 and then 55? Behind the positive attitudes and charm of Drew Brees and Sean Payton I see a serious lack of sportsmanship. Maybe I put too much emphasis on sportsmanship. Just my thoughts.
First of all, you can’t criticize that Colts game without actually watching the game. We threw the ball just ten times in the third quarter, all short passes and threw exactly zero times in the fourth quarter. The final score was on an interception return and if you think can convince any defensive player to not score on the only chance he gets all season, then you’re delusional.
Secondly, of course we threw the ball against the Falcons late. That record has hung over Drew Brees for three years (since he came close in ‘08) so everyone wanted that to get done sooner rather than later. Also, those our are most hated rivals. Why wouldn’t we want to stick them on the other side of history?
What this all boils down to is: if teams don’t like it, they should figure out a way to stop it. To hell with your sportsmanship. We played that way in 2009 and all it got us was a passing story-line about how the region has come back and then it was back to Manning this, Brady that.
It’s increasingly obvious that the NFL and media personalities find the “Drew as a genuinely good guy” (which he totally is) narrative to be dull, so we’re embracing the dark. This team thrives on breaking records and going full tilt. Funny thing is, it probably wasn’t true until Pete Prisco called us classless. We’re tired of Drew being the also-ran in the quarterback conversation and we’re tired of talk about honor.
So take your sportsmanship and sit on it, we’re riding this train to Indianapolis and when we get there you better believe whoever is on the other end of that field is going to get hit by the freight train that is the Crescent City Express.
-Ryan
Perhaps I owe Mike Freeman and Pete Prisco an apology. Since this fake controversy stewed up by a couple of bitter reporters, all the Saints have done is put together back-to-back six hundred yard games and Drew having press conferences where he’s saying things like:
“We were pulling out all the stops, we play aggressive. We’re not going to apologize for that. That gives guys in the huddle a lot of confidence. We’re not going to pull the reins back. It’s pedal to the metal.”
Check out the stories that started this torrid onslaught of prolific offense:
saints11:
Last week, CBS’s Mike Freeman had the audacity to make the case that the yardage record that Drew Brees now owns should be written in the record books with an asterisk. Today he wrote that the Packers are the NFL’s only great team. Meanwhile his coworker, Pete Prisco, published an article with this headline: “Brees’ record-breaking night tainted by decision to go for it late,” and still in another corner of the universe Jason Cole asks if we were “right” in running up the score.
I’m forced to ask a simple question: are they watching the same game as us? I can barely express how infuriating this is (on today of all days). Fortunately though, I think I can muster up responses to defend the honor of our quarterback, the quality of this team, and the depth of my hatred for national media coverage today.
(Via)
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(Source: saints11)
